


Dear Journal

by bwayfan25



Category: The Shape of Water (2017)
Genre: Book Verse, Diary/Journal, Gen, Prequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 20:57:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14553375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bwayfan25/pseuds/bwayfan25
Summary: I shouldn't have really purchased this journal. I can't really afford it. But the cover was so pretty, I had to stop inside the stationary store and get it.Recently released into the world after being raised at the Baltimore Home for Wee Wanderers, Elisa Esposito reflects on her past and her present to her oldest and most intimate friend- her journal. A series of journal entries based on the novel, long before the events of Primordium.





	Dear Journal

_ May 7th, 1947 _

I definitely should not have purchased this journal. I can’t really afford it. But the cover was so pretty, I had to stop inside the stationary store and get it. I just had to. It’s greenish blue. I don’t think I have a favorite color. But I like greenish blue. It looks Iike water. Pretty water. 

Not like the water of the river.  That water is more brown than blue. I think someone said there is a factory upriver that runs off into the water. That makes me worried. What about all the fish and animals?

Now that I’ve written in it, I definitely can’t return it now. I might as well continue writing in it. 

I’ve never kept a journal before. Writing things down like this… it’s almost like I’m talking to it. Or should I say to you? To you feels more right, but it also feels wrong. 

Journals aren’t sentient, are they? They’re just books with empty pages. They can’t understand what’s written in them. But maybe they can. 

If you can understand me, I hope you’re a nice journal. I’d be very disappointed to find a magical journal and for it to be mean. I promise I won’t be mean to you if you aren’t mean to me. 

I think if you were mean to me, I still wouldn’t be mean to you. I don’t like being mean to people. It hurts my stomach. I think I might be the only one that happens to though. Other people don’t have a problem being mean.

Before I went into the stationary store and bought this, I went to the market to buy some groceries. While I was standing in front of a selection of jams and jellies trying to figure out what I was going to buy, an old woman bumped into me with her cart and I knocked over one of the jars. She didn’t even apologize. She just waved over the manager and told him that I broke the jar. I couldn’t explain that it was her fault, so I had to be the one who paid for it. And I didn’t even get to enjoy it. 

She had a big purse and wore pearls around her neck. She probably has a lot of money.The jar of jelly cost an extra thirty five cents. I only have ten dollars and eighty three cents left in the money I got from Home to find a place to live, and I owe another month’s rent in only a couple weeks. 

I mind paying for it a little bit. At the very least, if I pay for jelly I want to be able to eat the jelly. And if I want to pay thirty five cents for something I don’t get to take home with me, I could have gone to see a movie downstairs. 

What I did mind was that she didn’t say that she was sorry. How could you bump into someone and not even apologize? It’s not right. I bump into people and apologize. They don’t understand the sign, but they can tell when I’m apologizing. 

I think the world would be a better place if everyone was nicer to each other. But I think the only people who think that are the ones that people aren’t nice to.

Someone once said “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”

I think about that sometimes. My science teacher in school once asked the question when we were talking about the human body and how people hear sound. But sometimes I think we’re all trees in the forest. And I worry sometimes that I’m the tree that falls over. 

If I were to fall asleep in my bed tonight and not wake up tomorrow, how long would it take for someone to find me?

I haven’t met the man next door yet and I haven’t seen him come out of his apartment. The landlord hasn’t come upstairs since he showed me the apartment when I moved in. And I don’t have a job yet or any friends. No one would really miss me. 

But that’ll change soon I hope. 

I applied for a job at a place called Occam Aerospace Research Center. I would be a janitor and I would work overnight. I think I could be good at it. I don’t think you’d have to talk to anyone to clean toilets or mop the floor. And I did chores at Home a lot, so I already know some of the basics. I’m sure they’ll teach me everything else. 

The interview is next Tuesday. I’m excited, but also very nervous. I’ve never interviewed for anything before. And they won’t be able to understand me, so I’ll need to make sure I take a paper and pen with me. 

But they would pay me fifty cents an hour. And if I start next week, then I’ll have enough for rent by the time it’s due. It would be tight but maybe I’ll be able to work there for a little while and then apply for something else. I can’t really be a secretary. But maybe I can save up some money and take classes to become a librarian. Or do something with numbers. 

We’ll see. I only turned eighteen ten days ago. I’ve still got a lot of life ahead of me. 

Until next time, 

Elisa

 

P.S.- I guess I should introduce myself to you, Journal. Just in case you can understand me. My name is Elisa Esposito. It’s a pleasure to meet you! 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's been a little while since I've posted anything here and by a while I mean it's been a month. That's a considerably shorter amount of time that some of my other fandoms. I'm sure there are probably people in the  _Wicked_ _The Musical_ fandom on FF that are waiting for me to finish some multichapter fics since like 2015. I can blame my brief absence on two things: 1) my work held a conference and I was incredibly busy for the month of April and 2) I finished writing a novel-length  _The Shape of Water_ fic and needed some time to recuperate. 
> 
> I have been toying around with the idea of doing prequel stories specifically based on the novelisation of the movie. While it is not much different in terms of movie timeline, there is some backstory in the novel that has not been explored much in fics (as far as I know; please correct me if I'm wrong).
> 
> As I was discussing with the lovely, encouraging [Tyellas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyellas), there is some shit that goes down in Elisa's childhood that is mentioned in the book and would definitely have an effect on her as an adult. I would argue that Elisa is not nearly as cheerful and positive in the book as she is in the movie. She is still our wonderful badass protagonist, but from the first chapter of the novel, you start to get a feel of what's going on inside her head and it is not nearly as nice and happy as you would hope.  
> 
> If you've been following my work her on AO3, you're probably thinking "but bwayfan25, you've already written a series of one-shots about Elisa's childhood/ a prequel series!". And you would be [correct](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13204080/chapters/30204240). However, that is more focused on movie canon and is different. Now that we have a little more canon backstory and details, I'm going to suspend that one. If I continue it, it would probably be a couple missing scenes of [Lost and Found](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13660455/chapters/31377282) that take place before the timeline of the movie (Chapter 12). I've got at least two ideas that I've been knocking around that I might get around to writing. We'll see.  
> 
> I don't know how long this will go. I doubt it will take us into the timeline of the movie but who knows! I've re-written it once already. I could probably do it again :P 
> 
> Anyways, I've been rambling for too long. I hope you enjoy this and I look forward to continuing it. I love each and every one of you and I hope you have a magnificent day.
> 
>  


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